Allow us to go for the mainstream today, just to laugh those required to survive the depression of a typical Monday in January. The following is a roundup of news as seen through the eyes of the presenter Jimmy Carr, and broadcast last Thursday on Channel 4 (more mainstream so you die). We promise not to pay too used to it.
This week, David Cameron announced his plans for what he calls "a complete modernization of the health service" means the plan would be to "modernize" in much the same way as floods in Australia have "modernized" the streets of Brisbane. With the Conservatives, health will continue to offer a service of the world, well, Third World, to be exact. What we need these reforms, of course, is giving patients a choice: you can choose to die alone and cold at home or, if preferred, on a dirty stretcher in a hospital ward. You can choose from.
BP has signed a contract worth several billion pounds with the Russians to drill for oil, I will tell you if the BP is really determined to find oil, why not try to look on the back of the gulls in the Gulf of Mexico?
This week, the spokesman for Apple have announced that their chief executive Steve Jobs will take a long period of rest for Motova of health, doctors try to cure him a new radical plan to turn it off and then back again.
Iraq: Tony Blair will return Chilcott investigation because, apparently, there were "gaps" in his statements: the largest of these "gaps" between what he of course was said to have done and what has really done. Tony Blair will not be asked to put your hand on the Bible before testifying, because he preferred not smeared with blood.
[...]
There have been revelations this week, under which, in 1997, a department Special notice was in the Vatican, the Catholic bishops in Ireland priests not to report on which they suspected of pedophilia. Sorry, the Vatican has an entire department just for that?
If there are priests who are watching right now, know that the only good news for you is that hell does not exist.
You know, there are so many pedophiles in the Catholic Church that sometimes we tend to forget that the pope is a Nazi.
Seriously though, we must not let this undermine the reputation of Catholic priests who are pedophiles not: they are both livid with rage.
bankers in Britain are to receive an annual bonus that could reach more than seven billion pounds, the boss of Royal Bank of Scotland, Steve Hester, will receive a bonus of 2.4 million pounds. If this proves to be difficult to visualize, try to imagine the typical average annual bonus of a nurse a 'nurse, and add in 2.4 million pounds. And then imagine giving to a merdaccia undeserving.
This week, David Cameron announced his plans for what he calls "a complete modernization of the health service" means the plan would be to "modernize" in much the same way as floods in Australia have "modernized" the streets of Brisbane. With the Conservatives, health will continue to offer a service of the world, well, Third World, to be exact. What we need these reforms, of course, is giving patients a choice: you can choose to die alone and cold at home or, if preferred, on a dirty stretcher in a hospital ward. You can choose from.
BP has signed a contract worth several billion pounds with the Russians to drill for oil, I will tell you if the BP is really determined to find oil, why not try to look on the back of the gulls in the Gulf of Mexico?
This week, the spokesman for Apple have announced that their chief executive Steve Jobs will take a long period of rest for Motova of health, doctors try to cure him a new radical plan to turn it off and then back again.
Iraq: Tony Blair will return Chilcott investigation because, apparently, there were "gaps" in his statements: the largest of these "gaps" between what he of course was said to have done and what has really done. Tony Blair will not be asked to put your hand on the Bible before testifying, because he preferred not smeared with blood.
[...]
There have been revelations this week, under which, in 1997, a department Special notice was in the Vatican, the Catholic bishops in Ireland priests not to report on which they suspected of pedophilia. Sorry, the Vatican has an entire department just for that?
If there are priests who are watching right now, know that the only good news for you is that hell does not exist.
You know, there are so many pedophiles in the Catholic Church that sometimes we tend to forget that the pope is a Nazi.
Seriously though, we must not let this undermine the reputation of Catholic priests who are pedophiles not: they are both livid with rage.
bankers in Britain are to receive an annual bonus that could reach more than seven billion pounds, the boss of Royal Bank of Scotland, Steve Hester, will receive a bonus of 2.4 million pounds. If this proves to be difficult to visualize, try to imagine the typical average annual bonus of a nurse a 'nurse, and add in 2.4 million pounds. And then imagine giving to a merdaccia undeserving.
The entire program - 10 o 'Clock Live - will be viewable until February 19, 2011 here:
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/10-oclock-live/4od # 3156825
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